Notice to all orchestras, bands, choruses, chamber musicians, and anyone who plays my music:
-The MIDI recording is always right.
-If you are not strictly imitating my late 90's, son-of-M1 synthesizer in every way, including and especially the timbre, then you are merely trying, not succeeding.
-If you cannot make your French Horn sound like a Floostrich (yes, that's a Seussism hinting at a cross between a flute and an ostrich) then step aside, we will find someone who can. And if we can't we will replace you with some unrelated synthesizer that will sound nothing like what I intended. At that point I will reconsider that perhaps I really did want a French Horn after all. You will be begged to return and enticed with a raise. When you return you find an envelope on your music stand containing advance pay and a scribbled note across the back, which reads: "The MIDI is always right." As you inhale to make your first entrance you are assaulted by a strange odor emanating from your right - a neutral scent of lavender perfume and wild-animal dung. You turn and see an addition to the orchestration of a Floostrich.
